this is not a letter in the traditional sense of the word, more so just a block of text. It's not the only secret hidden in my website, though I'll not tell you how to find the rest (there are two pages other than this one - one with video and one with poem! it shouldn't take you too much effort to find them if you think about it). This page is meant to expand on a few thoughts which I want to share with you but the issue is that I've literally already sealed Letter 10 and I don't want to re-open it. There's a little tiny gap at the top of the thing, the envelope, which I'll sneak this url into! Today is August 5th, 2026, and my phone has been "fixed." lol. Okay enough beating around the bush! Let's get into the meat of it...

Also sorry that (if you find the video) I'm going to be repeating some points - it's moreso that these are a more distilled and thought-through version of thoughts that I spoke aloud. If that makes sense.

This, the angel story, has been a very enlightening process for me! I wrote about this in some letter, I can't remember which, but I guess I could look it up. The big takeaway for me personally was discovering just how averse I am to fictionalizing these days, like, it felt bad to make things up for the sake of the story. Does that make sense? Do you understand what I mean? What I found very strange about the process was that I didn't really feel like I could stop. Like,, I think if I had felt all the emotions I've felt throughout the process of making this strange little story all at the beginning, I'd have written something else. Idk girl, I think a lot of it is still kind of up to your reception? And I trust that your reception will be positive because from an objective standpoint what I've done is pretty cool & you have a tendency to like when I do cool things. Still, until I know for a fact that you liked it I think there will be an inner voice telling me that this form, this story, was a mistake. I don't want it to hurt, and I'm worried that it will. I'm worried that the takeaway will be... idk. Idk! This is a strange thing to be writing right now. I can't think of any way to like, change my mind about the... I was hoping writing it down would be more consise. I don't think that is proving true. It's beyond likely that the best way to get these thoughts out of me will be to ask me in person once you've deciphered the angel story, but part of what I'm aiming to provide is a record of the process. So. This is a retrospective? A pre-emptive one, maybe, but still.

So yeah, my summer has been (in ways you were not aware) largely defined by this story. I think the themes of the season have been movement, deception, and creation. In that order. And kind of what I feel like I keep trying to get at without really truly touching is the fact that I wish deception had not been a theme! At the same time, every time I get this feeling that I want to just confess every part of each letter which I included merely for the sake of the narrative, I stop myself. I wrote this on the back of letter 9, "you deserve the truth," but it is only now that you're getting it. Was it cool? Was it worth the effort? I really hope so!

truth, yeah, here's something I want to be clear on (there are probably other things which should take precedence, but oh well): the sections in letters 6-8 referring to prayer are not fictionalized for the sake of the story. If it'd been up to me, I'd have kept them out of the picture because I think it really muddles the image but like,, I genuinely forgot that it was a thing that I'd done until I was writing #6 and that genuinely did impact the rest of my month. I prayed, I mean, in as much of a way as you could imagine a girl like me genuinely praying. It's a form that makes sense for me. It helps. And it did, really genuinely, help! It's been helping. So say thank you to my God, who doesn't have a name, and say sorry to the angel who must have had such terrible doubts once she smiled upon me.

A few times, not often, but once or twice over the course of this summer, I found myself completely at the whims of the story. I knew where it was taking me, if that makes sense, and I gave in. Just a little. I mention on paper somewhere in letter 10 that I wrote the name-page on a clear morning with no malice in my heart - and that is true. What I don't mention is that after we spoke on the phone for the first and last time in Stephenville, I wrote a draft of the name-page. And it was an interesting experience, to say the least. It was as though I was acting, but I wasn't acting. I was myself. Just, more afraid. I really captured the mindset my character in the story would have been in whilst writing the torn-up version you got. And that's why I didn't send that one! Threw it in the trash, that's what I did. Wasn't right to mean it. And though it's all fictional, and though it had to happen, I deeply regret some of the names I included on that name-page from letter 7. I know narratively what that action represents, and it's not a kindness. Anyways! Is this fun to read? I got worried for a bit that I had to make this story fun, but I don't really do 'fun' in the traditional sense? So.

This story was in NO WAY some kind of masked name-change reveal. That would be cringe. I still resonate with the name Thunder for myself, and if and when that changes it will be communicated to you in a normal way instead of this mess. Still, I was drawn towards writing a story where I lost my name, and I think I did for a while in the process. You may or may not have noticed that after the first letter, I stopped referring to myself by name. And bro, let me tell you, the few times I've felt fear throughout the process have been those where I absentmindedly began writing my own name down. I don't think an angel's gonna come get me, but. I couldn't do it until it was done. I'm gonna stop writing soon. I hope this has been informative. Feel free to ask me for any clarifications you so desire. That's probably going to be your best bet.

You'll probably see soon if you haven't already, but my freakout over the word "proven" came from knowing beyond knowledge that I'd written it somewhere within letter 8 and just being,, completely unable to find it. I spent a long time looking, girl. Like. Hours.

OK I hope this was fun! I really do. All my love,

Thunder